Arvind -- Class 2

Prelude

I came across a review of this course on the internet and the main accusations were that it was ( a ) some kind of cult and ( b ) it focused on eastern teaching – especially Hinduism and ( c ) there was some kind of deceit in not making it clear apriori that the emphasis is on the hindu view point. (Heres the link www.philosophers.co.uk Article "Course or Cult?")

I observed that this review was not comforting and spent time trying to figure out what exactly about it left me with an unpleasant taste. It is worth noting here, that whether or not ( a ), ( b ) and ( c ) above are true is immaterial, the issue really is why was I uncomfortable. I am not sure I fully understand why, but the following seem plausible.

A large part of my happiness comes from looking good (wealth, intellect) in the eyes of others. When my actions risk not looking good at others I feel uncomfortable.
For unexplained reasons, I feel culturally bound to Hinduism. This is an extraordinarily stupid bonding to have. I feel happy when someone says something nice about it and not so when some one attacks it. All this despite knowing very little about Hinduism.
This realization allowed me to continue with the course. The cause of the discomfort was not likely to be the course or the organization or the review for that matter. It was me.



Just a few minutes before the class, I was speaking to a lady of who is also taking this course. When I asked about her, she told me she was divorced and has no family here. There was a noticeable uncomfortable pause in the conversation and then she quickly added that "she has a boyfriend though". Looking back I think I can explain the reason for the discomfort - it can entirely be attributable to the phenomenon of looking good in others eyes. I was trying to avoid my image of this lady from not looking good in others eyes. And so was she trying to look good in my eyes after revealing something that she thought made her vulnerable. There's much to be discovered in the span of a NY minute. I suppose that's the point – there's a whole lot of shit happening and we are always pushing this crap under the carpet. I am not so much interested right now in answering if it is a good thing to push things under the carpet, but more interested in understanding what exactly am I pushing under the carpet.



Would you be Newton/Da Vinci or would you be happy?


The instructor mentioned that mentioned that both Newton and Da Vinci felt towards the end of their lives that life has completely skipped them by. ( I was reminded of Pink Floyd's Time.) The exact quote attributed towards Newton is "I was like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me."



I don't know if the ocean was related to the discovery of empirical truth or to the realization of happiness. But lets assume, he was indeed unhappy. And lets assume the false choice is not so false and the choice is "Be like Newton or be Happy?." What would you be? I am not sure that's very easy to answer. Hundreds of suicide bombers are willing to give up current happiness for future fame. Thousands of soldiers are willing to give up lives for some kind of glory. Am I willing to give up happiness for eternal fame?. If every book in the future is going to be printed with your name on it and as the one who made a definitive contribution on the lives of future generation, am I or you willing to give up on happiness in any other form other than perhaps from the joy of professional success.



I don't really have that choice to some extent – heck I am not even half a Newton. And I cannot answer it truthfully. But right now, I am leaning towards eternal fame for a life of misery. Hot air for cool breeze? Am I exchanging a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?



May be I'll change my mind as the course progresses.



America the beautiful


I think the most endearing quality of America is that the average person is very optimistic, naïve and less cynical than elsewhere. I mean all this in highly positive way. In this course, I found most of the people to be so earnest in wanting to live this out to the best of their ability. One of the persons used the excercises of the previous lesson – meditation and "what would a wise person do?" question to help deal with the stress of the surgery of some one in her family. I felt humbled in perhaps being a laggard on this count – I am still some what distant from what this course is trying to teach. I am still waiting for stuff to happen.



This weeks class featured a zen koan. The story involves a scholar who travels to a zen master and asks the master to teach him zen. The master is about to serve tea and keeps pouring tea until the cup starts over flowing. The scholar gets agitated and observing this the zen master explains that the scholars mind is full and he needs to empty it if he is to receive anything.



The class ended with the most fundamental question. Who am I. And of course, I don't know the answer to that one.